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from http://angevin2.livejournal.com

 

what not to do with shakespeare's plays

 

 

- I will not decide that the best way to portray "Exit, pursued by a a bear" is to have the rest of the cast dressed in brown and do some sort of modern-dance amoeba thing to absorb the character.

 

- I will not costume fairies in shorts and hiking boots.

 

- I will not costume fairies in nothing but body paint.

 

- I will not abridge Hamlet to last less than an hour unless I am a member of the Reduced Shakespeare Company because although there is a possibility it may make the play more accessable to the morons in the audience it will most likely suck. A lot.

 

- I will not costume my actors as if they are extras from the Year of the Sex Olympics.

 

- I will not pronounce "Titania" to rhyme with Titanium.

 

- I will not add 'Iago's dream scene' before the murder of Desdemona, with strobe lights, for an excuse for Iago to kiss Desdemona and Emilia. This scene will also not have Modest Mouse blaring in the background.

 

- Making Iago a woman is a bad idea. Making her seduce Roderigo is a worse idea.

 

- I will remember that updating Othello and making him a boxer would require me to cut around ten pages from the play entirely.

 

- Upon being stabbed, Tybalt should die, not propel himself backwards across the entire length of the stage.

 

- Should I choose to portray Lady Macduff as pregnant, I will ensure that her bump is secure.

 

- I will not set Macbeth in a post-apocalyptic future wasteland. Furthermore, under no circumstance will Banquo be a robot, alien, mutant, or any combination of the above.

 

- No matter how clever it seems, in no way will Death stalk both Macbeth and Lady Macbeth. This is especially true if the costume consists of a black tracksuit with a glow-in-the-dark Halloween mask.

 

- If Shakespeare had intended for any character to say, "YEEEEEEEEHAW!", it would have appeared in the text.

 

- I will never instruct Romeo and Juliet to "die faster, people didn't come here to see you two die."

 

- I will never stage Macbeth entirely in freestyle rap.

 

- No matter how brilliantly Terry Pratchett skewered Macbeth, do not portray the Wyrd Sisters as Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, and Magrat.

 

- Casting a black Desdemona alongside a black Othello is kind of missing the point a bit.

 

- I shall not give Thisbe cleavage by blowing up multi-coloured latex balloons and taping them under her dress; furthermore, during Thisbe's death scene, I shall not tape a safety pin to the end of Pyramus' sword and allow Thisbe to pop said balloons for comic relief as she tragically stabs herself.

 

- I will not have Romeo and Juliet's clothes gradually become more modern as the play progresses, to symbolize that their love is eternal, especially if this means that Juliet has to wear a pink mini skirt for her death scene.

 

- The ghost of Hamlet's father will not be played by the entire ensemble underneath a giant piece of diaphanous black material.

 

-I will not employ a conception of Caliban which would require him to wear a ghastly furry costume reminiscent of a hypothetical offspring of Chewbacca and the Wolf from Into the Woods.

 

- No character will be allowed to skip around the stage without a particularly good reason. Particularly if it's a guy.

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Guest Girl from Mars
- I shall not give Thisbe cleavage by blowing up multi-coloured latex balloons and taping them under her dress; furthermore, during Thisbe's death scene, I shall not tape a safety pin to the end of Pyramus' sword and allow Thisbe to pop said balloons for comic relief as she tragically stabs herself.

:roflmao::joy: Thank the Gods I have seen a better rendition of A Midsummer Night's Dream :lol: Altho the popping balloons sound like a fab idea - NOT :lol:

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it's amazing how much liberty people take with 'a midsummer night's dream'. :lol:

 

the guy actually has about 350-odd resolutions from different people. i just picked up my favourites from that list.

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rolling on the floor......

 

That site is great! :smooch: for finding it!

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- I will never instruct Romeo and Juliet to "die faster, people didn't come here to see you two die."

:roflmao:

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PLEASE read the limericks series at the same blog. absolutely PRICELESS.

 

example: -

 

Romeo and Juliet

 

A boy and a girl from Verona

Are this tragedy's dramatis persona.

Though she'd be broken-hearted,

Would their fate have been thwarted

If he'd jumped plays for fair Desdemona?

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"Shining" is good, too :p the Jack Nicholson bunny is very nicholsonish :lol:

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Guest Girl from Mars

p096.gif

Bunny got me this t-shirt the other day :lol: I don't wear t-shirts (except girlie size) but for this I will make an exception. The little logo with the udders is sooo :swoon::chacha:

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:roflmao:

 

PRICELESS!!! :lol: i want a picture with you in it. :yes:

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:roflmao:

 

PRICELESS!!! :lol: i want a picture with you in it. :yes:

oh yes, please!!! :roflmao:

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Guest Girl from Mars

Ok, wish granted, I modeled the t-shirt :lol:

batcow.jpgbatcow3.jpgbatcow4.jpg

 

batcow2.jpg

Btw, I look so dissheveled (sp?) because of the spinning lesson.

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you look lovely no reason for excuses. :smooch: and the shirt is cool!!! well done, bunny :yes:

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Guest Girl from Mars

Btw, my arms are not really that thin, in the pic I look like a stick insect :lol: it's the light and the funny t-shirt.

Edited to add, I will have to cut off the sleeves of the t-shirt, don't really wear it like this. Or I might give it to someone else :)

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